


home is wherever I'm with you

by beepbedeep



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: F/F, Perfect!!!, lin being very small and VERY CONFUSED about her feelings??, nothing's ever been better!!!, second time's the charm!!, started with Structure and really devolved from there!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:14:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26539417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beepbedeep/pseuds/beepbedeep
Summary: Lin never sleeps in Tenzin’s room. She creeps out, without fail, and curls up in Kya’s empty bed. Tenzin says he understands, Lin says she has trouble sleeping around other people, but the truth is, she buries herself in the pillow that still smells a little like Kya’s shampoo and imagines the other girl’s arms around her until she falls asleep.
Relationships: Lin Beifong/Kya II
Comments: 13
Kudos: 136





	home is wherever I'm with you

The first time Lin wants to kiss Kya, she’s seven. Since Uncle Sokka built a tree fort outside the air temple, their favorite game to play has been house and Lin thinks it’s one of the better things to do when their parents get too boring – talking about international relations (something Lin won’t understand for another five years) and _gossiping_ (something Tenzin likes, sitting by his mom’s feet and Lin has to be cooler than _him_ so she doesn’t stick around for long). 

Bumi always wants to be the sky bison and crawls around, batting at everyone else’s legs and letting the smaller kids ride on his back, making Izumi scream with laughter every time he tries to stand up. Tenzin, when he comes out, _insists_ on being the little brother which Kya says is _boring because that’s just like real life_ but it makes him happy, and Aunt Katara assures Kya that he probably won’t do that forever, so they let him be. Su alternates between playing the dragon, breathing pretend flames and gashing her teeth (Izumi piping in with “helpful dragon facts” like _Su that’s not what they’re really like!!_ and _our dragon is really nice_ ) but when Bumi insists on being the only animal she happily curls up to be the baby, which doesn’t seem very interesting to Lin – just a lot of lying around and whining – but, actually, those are two of Su’s favorite activities normally too, and at least this way she can say _YOU’RE ASLEEP NOW!_ and Su dutifully shuts her eyes for at least ten seconds. 

Izumi rarely wants to be someone, she likes sitting off to the side or riding around on Bumi’s back to critique everyone else’s behavior or yell _it’s raining now!_ whenever she decides there isn’t enough happening. Kya _always_ wants to be the dad, she collects her dad’s robes or Uncle Sokka’s jacket, at nine they dwarf her small body, and stands tall, conveying the proper amount of parental concern. That leaves Lin to be the mom, and normally she’d say that’s the _most boring part_ but when Kya’s the dad she never really minds. (Lin knows to do things in the game like her aunt would do them, not her mom, in order to get it right) 

Kya says things like _we need to give the kids some space_ (Toph’s common refrain) or _make sure no one gets hurt_ (Aang’s parental trademark) and then loops her arm through Lin’s, dragging them around the corner to giggle at whatever chaos their siblings will cause to draw them back to the game. One time, when Kya looks especially silly, giant hood pulled over her eyes as she ladles out the “soup” they just made, Lin leans over and pecks her cheek, lighting fast, and Izumi whispers “ooooh” just like she does when Aunt Mai kisses Uncle Zuko, and Lin feels a burst of pride at getting this game right. Kya’s tan skin flushes for a minute, then she smiles at Lin and hands her a bowl. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

The second time Kya kisses Lin, she’s fifteen and upset because Su has a boyfriend and she still hasn’t kissed _anyone_. Mom is surprised, but doesn’t ask Su for any more information, so Lin asks who he is and if he’s nice to her, gets all the details (that Su is only too happy to share), tells her to be careful (all Toph says is to _have fun_ and Lin thinks her mom should know better than that. Lin listens when her mom talks about work, knows what people can do, and sure, she and Su don’t always get along, but she doesn’t want the world to break her energetic, optimistic sister and so _Lin_ has to do the stuff her mom doesn’t seem to care enough to deal with.) (Su wants to be loved just as badly as Lin does, even if they never talk about it) 

After Su escapes from the Sister Talk, with a roll of her eyes (and something that looks like gratitude behind the sarcasm) Lin goes to her room and stares into the mirror for half an hour, watching with semi-horror as tears roll down her cheeks, because this isn’t supposed to be a thing she cares about, but _people always care about Su more_ , even Uncle Sokka who always makes it to Republic City for Su’s birthdays, for Su’s dance performances, but rarely Lin’s. He brings her presents, eventually, apologizing because _spring is such a busy time at the South Pole_ , and after he takes Lin, (just her, no mom, no Su) to her favorite Water Nation restaurant (followed with tickets to a pro-bending match, or special combat practice) she always forgives him, because this is _enough_ , but Su doesn’t ever have to forgive him because he’s _never not there for her_. 

She says as much to Kya the next afternoon, when Aunt Katara stops by the house to ask Toph about new earthbenders, takes one look at Lin’s raw face, and asks if she’d like to come over for dinner. Katara takes them across the water with ease, no boat needed, the way that scares Su but makes Lin feel like she’s flying, clinging to her Aunt’s arm for stability. Kya’s home that night, which is becoming an increasing rarity as she gets older, but with no other not-family-members around she turns the full force of her Kya-ness onto Lin, and Lin is _really working_ on being more reserved, but Kya never gives her a real chance, drawing her out with a quick stream of bright smiles and teasing pokes that leave Lin laughing just as hard as everyone else at Bumi’s account of his friend’s latest shenanigans. (Bumi tells stories the way Uncle Sokka does, all dramatic pauses and exaggerated facial expressions, and they’re both _so funny_ , but part of Lin wonders if Bumi does this to compensate, because Kya and Tenzin’s stories are full of _bending_ , if he feels the need to do crazier shit and talk about it first in order to garner the same attention.) 

After dinner she follows Kya up to her room, full of flowing curtains and pillows and glasses of water everywhere. Two seconds later Kya’s flopped down on her bed, asking Lin _what’s going on? you know I can always tell when you’re upset, right?_ and Lin tells her everything, because if she can’t tell Kya then she really can’t tell anyone and when she’s done Kya rolls over and wraps her arms so tightly around Lin it feels a little like the time she was learning how to capture people with earthbending, how her partner had squeezed a little too hard and left Lin gasping, with indents on her upper arms. _This_ is a thousand percent better than being squeezed by amateur rocks, and she leans into Kya’s embrace, breathing the creamy scent of her shampoo. 

Kya pulls back, _I love you, and so does mom, and dad, and Tenzin and Bumi and everyone else. You know that._ Lin nods. A few seconds later and Kya is gently, _so carefully_ , like Lin is something _precious_ , leaning closer and Lin shuts her eyes on instinct before Kya’s lips gently brush against hers. After a second, Kya pulls back, eyes dancing. _There. Now you know how it feels. You aren’t missing out on much, I promise._ Lin opens her mouth to agree, to tease Su, to say _something_ , but it feels like her lungs can’t open all the way, the only words running through her head are _KyaKyaKyaKya_ and if _this_ is how Su feels about that boy, no wonder she’s so happy all the time. 

Next to her, Kya has already returned to her spot on the bed, idly twisting her hair around a finger, pulling out a sheet of paper to show Lin an assignment she’d barely started. Lin follows, and her lungs seize the rest of the night, over and over again, every time their shoulders brush. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

The first time Lin sees Kya kiss another girl, she feels the way stone looks after young earthbenders have finished practice – crumpled, put back together the wrong way. She’s sixteen and Su has decided to do everything _exactly the opposite of the way it’s supposed to be_ (the opposite of the way Lin has always done things) so going home kind of sucks, and she doesn’t have enough friends from school to spend time at any one else’s house. 

Instead, she remembers that Bumi should be home from training this weekend, (despite being the oldest and arguably the most independent one of them, he always makes time to come back, and happily talks to Lin about everything going on in their respective lives) so there’s a chance they can commiserate about annoying younger siblings together. He’s on her side of the water in less than half an hour and they run around Republic City the way they’ve been doing it for years, since Aang said that they didn’t need adult supervision if Bumi promised to keep an eye on everyone and _not let Tenzin run away you know he likes to do that._

They eat fried meat that drips down their faces and then Bumi tells her about the things he’s learning at naval training ( _everyone else there is like me, Lin! no one bends! we get to learn how to actually do things!_ ) and Lin’s chest aches for a second, because out of all of them, Bumi tries the hardest, he always has, and she knows that Uncle Aang loves him, but he connects so much more with Tenzin, and Lin knows how awful it feels to be ignored. Spending time with Bumi is easy, easy in a way that’s eons away from Tenzin’s devotion to the rules (which yes, is a trait Lin arguably shares, but that doesn’t mean she thinks it’s cool) and the way her tongue gets stuck in her mouth around Kya, how she’s never sure what to say anymore. Bumi is just _fun_ , and by the time the sun goes down, all of Lin’s frustrations are forgotten. 

An autumn chill is settling into the air, and Bumi shivers, flashing his big, familiar smile at her. ( _probably time to get home_.) As they race back to the docks, hoping he’ll make the ferry across, he mentions that Kya likely won’t be back in time either. Lin’s stomach _flips_ like it always does (no time to examine _that_ feeling) but when they arrive at the dock, sweaty, panting, and in the nick of time, Kya hasn’t made an appearance. ( _mom’s going to be mad! she promised to be back on time tonight_ ) Kya’s not known for her punctuality, but she’s around less and less, and Lin’s worried she’s changing, shifting faster than Lin can keep up with. 

Tenzin’s still in school, just like her, but Kya _isn’t_ any more and Lin isn’t sure what she’s going to do next (because Kya’s never around to talk now) but she’s heard her Aunt say something about _she wants to see the world, Aang! just like we did! traveling will be so fun for her_ and Lin’s sneaking suspicion is that Kya’s going to be around even less, which kind of makes her want to cry for no reason. Suddenly Bumi’s poking her arm, hard enough to yank Lin out of her Kya-spiral and she looks over to the shapes on the dark wall he’s motioning towards, shoulders shaking with laughter. And, speak of the devil, but Lin’s eyes snap open because that’s Kya, _Kya_ pressed up against the wall by the dock, hands tangled in someone else’s hair. Before Lin can register what’s happening, Bumi’s already sidling up to the pair, whispering something that makes Kya pull away from the other person (a girl Lin vaguely recognizes as one of Kya’s friends from school) so fast Lin would wonder if he burned her, but he’s not a firebender, and the flush that spreads across Kya’s face is bright enough that Lin thinks she could see it from Air Temple Island. (Lin smiles, the painfully obvious embarrassment is a reminder that Kya isn’t _that_ grown up yet, not _that_ removed from the girl Lin’s been friends with for her whole life.) 

The back of her throat _hurts_ , like she swallowed gravel, when Kya leans over to kiss the other girl a final time, and Lin really isn’t sure what she’s supposed to _do_ about this. Her palms itch, so she grabs the bottom of her jacket, before remembering it was a birthday present from Kya last year, and stuffing her hands in her pockets instead. Bumi hugs her before they jump onto the boat, and she shakes her head when he looks quizzically at her newly-shadowed face. He nods, seeming to understand something she doesn’t, and then shouts at Kya that they _need to leave now comeoncomeon please_. Lin watches them disappear and heads back to her mom and Su, wondering if either of them will actually be at home when she gets there. 

(She takes the long way because Kya’s _friend_ starts walking the way Lin had originally planned, and for some reason she’s pretty sure can’t go anywhere near the other girl right now without screaming.)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The first time _Lin_ kisses another girl, she’s seventeen, stuck at a party that Su insisted _would be really fun!_ It’s not. Lin is surrounded by people she kind of knows, who all like each other more, and everything weird. The girl’s mouth tastes a little strange and Lin doesn’t feel anything. Su’s having a _great_ time, because she’s the _exciting one_ so Lin awkwardly walks around for half an hour before settling on the steps outside with Tenzin (whose patented I’m-the-good-kid instincts are not blending well with the cactus juice on the other side of the door). 

They talk about kind-of-nothing, the way they’re good at, practice from years of being the ones to hang back, a similar kind of fear and parental pressure (or lack thereof) and she leans her head on his shoulder, which is almost nice. Tenzin is a respite, too wrapped up in his own stuff to want her to be anything else. On an impulse she kisses him too, the other girl’s taste still swimming in the back of her throat. He smiles and leans in again and she doesn’t pull away. (half her thoughts are consumed, annoyingly enough by Kya, who took Lin to a party last year before taking off for the North Pole, a party where Lin actually had fun, because _Kya was there_ and spent the whole time pulling her back from attempted escapes and laughing, the kind of laugh that could probably keep Lin rooted to the same spot for the rest of the night.) 

(Tenzin, unlike anyone else Lin knows, is happy to just _sit_ with her, no extra effort needed, but Kya knows when to pull Lin to her feet, bring her along, to make sure they _both_ have a good time.) When Tenzin leaves (home on time, always the model child) she heads back to see what Su is up to. (She ends up practically carrying her stumbling sister home and it’s one of the nicest interactions they’ve had in a long time.)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

The Tenzin thing _escalates_ , until they’re like, _dating_ which is a thing that Lin still isn’t used to. Mostly it’s the same as always, she likes Tenzin, likes being his girlfriend, likes the way he puts his arm around her shoulders and doesn’t prod at the things she’d rather keep hidden. (Eventually this means he doesn’t know her that well, not as well as a boyfriend should, and Lin decides that a little discomfort could be a good thing.) Still, it’s nice to feel less alone, nice to have someone who’s _hers_ , nice to know that he’ll be around when she needs to talk or be distracted. She and Su talk less and less, her mom is as distant as ever, but Lin’s still _happy_ , happy eating most of her meals at his house (Kya’s house) where she’s spent her whole life anyway. She and Tenzin are different, but they feel a lot of the same things, and know how to make each other laugh. She gets used to the shift, going from the cheerful island to her home back in the city, deciding if she needs to go pick up her sister, making her mom food for when she gets back from the station – some nights Toph gets back even later than Su. When all that feels like too much, she stays, taking advantage of her Aunt’s open invitation, exploring the dustiest rooms in the temple and reading old books with Tenzin – even practicing their bending: air against metal. (By now they are both _very_ good and it’s exciting to go up against a force Lin knows most people will never be so lucky to encounter.) It’s nice. They graduate on a sunny day, Uncle Aang gives a speech. He helps her move into the dorms at the Academy, kisses her on the bed and she thinks that this is _not alone_. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

(a note: Lin never sleeps in Tenzin’s room. she creeps out, without fail, and curls up in Kya’s empty bed. Tenzin says he understands, Lin says she has trouble sleeping around other people, but the truth is, she buries herself in the pillow that still smells a little like Kya’s shampoo and imagines the other girl’s arms around her until she falls asleep.)

(another note: Kya comes back home for their graduation. It’s a surprise. After the ceremony she stands close to the crowd, waiting impatiently for Lin and Tenzin’s appearance. Lin is captivated by the sight, Kya glowing in the hot afternoon, holding her arms open. In an uncharacteristic burst of enthusiasm (an emotion Lin has been packing away for years) she runs directly at her friend, before she can evaporate, just in case she’s a hallucination, and when Lin makes contact, Kya’s presence warm and soft and _real_ she, embarrassingly, _melts_. Kya laughs and returns the embrace as Lin breathes her in. Lin forgot how good this feels, how her limbs buzz, how her vision seems sharper, every system in her body zoomed in on the _Kya_ of it all.) (later she will remember how Tenzin broke away from the throng of their classmates to find her, how his arms were open too, his face full of optimism, the high of graduating, the future feeling bright and clear and _theirs for the taking_ , how Lin bypassed him without a thought, Kya pulling at her in a way he never had) 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

She and Tenzin, unsurprisingly, don’t last. She blames herself a little (Lin does _not_ get better at talking about her feelings), and Tenzin a little (he doesn’t get better at noticing the rest of the world, 75% of his focus is always on airbending and she can’t exactly say _hey sorry I know you’re trying to rebuild a whole culture and are also one of only the only two people in the whole world who can do this thing but can you come here and listen to this weird thing that happened to me today_ ) and their respective parents a little (Toph and Aang’s shadows are too large for them to really be happy in their early 20s) but mostly she misses how soft his eyes look when he smiles, the sound of his heartbeat in her ear, his faith that _good things are coming Lin, I know it_. 

Lin never cries, but after Tenzin kisses her for the last time, when he leaves with his dad on another air nomad heritage trip, she cries. A lot. She visits Izumi ( _in her palace!!!!!_ ) and spends a month exploring the Fire Nation, letting Izumi show her how big the world is, how much of it she still hasn’t seen. Lin forgot about this kind of uncomplicated friendship, how much _fun_ it is to be around Izumi, how safe other people can make her feel, and she revels in Izumi’s trademark intelligent giddiness, her friend’s long black hair spinning out from her shoulders as they run across cobblestones and through markets, the warm, spicy scents of Fire Nation life blanketing the air. Lin’s ok. She’s still not alone. 

When she gets back to Republic City (first stop, Air Temple Island, to drop off an eclectic assortment of Fire Nation/Izumi presents for her aunt) she officially takes over for her mom and overhauls her apartment, only keeping the things a real chief would. It’s ok. Lin feels different, like something unrecognizable has shifted beneath her feet (a new feeling for her) and so she does what she’s supposed to, work to protect the people and places she cares about. 

No more Su, her mom hasn’t been around in a while, and Tenzin avoids anything other than polite (extremely brief) conversations at public events. She sits in her apartment, or office, or in a park if the day is especially nice. She reads. She gets a few hermit crabs and names each one. She visits her aunts and uncles. She’s _really good at her job_. And she’s ok. She’s different, but she’s ok. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

(when Kya comes to visit, periodically, haphazardly, 50% hurricane and 50% puddle, complete with no warning and an impressive amount of clothes-that-really-really-really-need-to-be-washed, face flushed with exhaustion, brimming with stories that Lin wouldn’t find particularly compelling if they belonged to anyone else, Lin always tries to be impassive. Detached. Practiced, patented Lin Beifong. And, when Kya melts onto her, practically falling through the open door into Lin’s arms (smelling a little like some unidentifiable animal that does _not_ live in Republic City) she fails. Every time. Before she can think about it, they’re both knee-deep in piles of wet laundry (propelled by Kya’s late night burst of energy) soaked and laughing or out on her porch, sprawled (a graceless word, Lin Beifong does not _sprawl_ ) on their backs to look up at the stars, or just on her couch _talkingtalkingtalking_ until eventually - sandy, soapy, or emotionally raw – they fall asleep. And Lin could have boundaries, could say _Kya this is not a motel, this is my home and this is my life and you can’t just show up like I don't have other stuff going on!_ but Kya manages to snuggle close to her every night (sleeping in the same bed remains an old habit, a comfort neither of them really feel like giving up, no matter how far they get from rowdy birthday sleepovers) and Lin _loves_ the way Kya wakes up, slowly, one eye and then the other, warm cheeks and tangled hair and unconscious smile, _nothing could make Lin give this up_. So Kya comes back. Again. And again. And again.)

(a final note: Kya could stay anywhere. Or, not _anywhere_ , but she has other friends. She grew up here, she probably knows more people than Lin does. And the air temple’s just as close as the city, she doesn’t have to come here. She doesn’t have to come to Lin. Kya has other options, and _she never even considers them_. The thought of coming back, of coming home, to anyone other than Lin is unfathomable. Kya isn’t even sure she _would_ come back to the city any other way. She doesn’t wake up in the middle of the night every few months _aching_ for the city. She doesn’t pack as fast as humanly possible, leaving socks and lotion forgotten in her wake for the city. She doesn’t ride overnight on questionable animals for the _city_. No, she wakes up with Lin’s face on the inside of her eyelids, she throws her things back into a bag with Lin’s voice urging her _fasterfasterfaster_ and she rides with her eyes closed, imagining Lin’s arms are wrapped around her waist. She loves traveling, loves her life, but without Lin to come home to, she isn’t sure there’d be a point.)

Lin kisses Kya for the first time (that day) before she’s even completely awake, eyes closed, feeling for familiar breath. And then a second time, and then a third, and when Kya slides her hand across Lin’s back she _stops counting_.


End file.
